Best New York Comedy

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Meredith Hackman (host of Saddest Sketch Show) writes & directs a mini-play debuting at The PIT at 8:00 pm: “In the Future We Ride Unicorns”

Tonight’s recommendations for the best in New York City comedy (in chronological order, with top picks noted and shows over $10 marked with $) include

[MEGA-TOP PICK] [FREE] 7:00 pm: A comedy genius who’s performed for The Office, Comedy Central, IFC; is star of The Chris Gethard Show; and is the author of A Bad Idea I’m About to Do and Weird New York, tries out new material every night this week at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City: Week at the Creek: Chris Gethard

[TOP PICK] 7:30 pm ($5): Paul Mecurio (Conan O’Brien, The Daily Show, Comedy Central Presents), Rob Cantrell (Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central, HBO, VHI, FX’s Totally Biased, documentary Metaphysical Graffiti, High Times), Kara Klenk (Comedy Central, Spike, Nickelodeon; host of If You Bring It), Scott Bateman (animator; author of new book Disalmanac), and Matt Ingebretson performing stand-up at UCB East hosted by Sean Crespo, Dan Wilbur, and/or Katina Corrao: Lasers in the Jungle

[TOP PICK] [$] 8:00 pm ($32.75 & 2-drink min.): A co-star of 30 Rock who’s one of the most hilarious guys in the biz headlining tonight and Friday at the Carolines Comedy Club: Tracy Morgan

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($5): A one-man show by Arthur Meyer (The Onion; sketch troupes Pangea 3000, Fambly, and Two Fun Men) at the UCB Chelsea theatre: Arthur Meyer: Rock and Roll…

…and in the second half of this double-bill, Jordan Klepper (The Stepfathers, MTV’s I Just Want My Pants Back, IFC) and Russ Armstrong (30 Rock, MTV’s Failosophy) debut a sketch show “about men who stay out of the fray—because the fray is chock full of death, basketball, and lions. Come and sit this one out with us:” Guilty Bystanders

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm-MIdnight ($7 for the entire evening): The Magnet house improv groups The Boss and Hello Laser performing improv for an hour, followed at 9:00 pm by Party Pooper (long form improv murder mystery in which “each performer will receive an envelope revealing exactly who he or she is, and whether or not he or she is the one who-done-it, followed by a 50-minute single-scene murder mystery made up on the spot,” directed by Peter McNerney), and at 10:00 pm by veteran improvisors making up scenes based on improvised monologues from storyteller Robert Weinstein at The Armando Diaz Experience, and finally at 11:00 improv competition Inspirado (like UCBT’s Cage Match, but with a game-like challenge component) pitting Trike against Listen, Weirs!: The Magnet’s Night Out

8:00 pm (no cover, 1 drink min.): For this One Year Anniversary edition, stories from comics Katina Corrao, Pat Dixon, Roger Hailes, and Bridget O’Neil, plus musical guest Mindy Raf, performing at this biweekly storytelling show at 2A (25 Avenue A & 2nd Street) hosted by JR: The Jenny Rubin Show

[FREE—OPEN VODKA BAR 7:30-8:00] 8:00 pm: NYC stand-ups at The Creek’s upstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City hosted by Leah Bonnema (out of town this month) and Tim Warner: Modern Day Philosophers

[TOP PICK] 9:00 pm ($5): Pete Lee (David Letterman, Comedy Central Half Hour, VH1), Alex Koll (Conan O’Brien, Comedy Central), Michelle Buteau (Last Comic Standing, Craig Ferguson, Comedy Central, VH1’s Best Week Ever, The Jenny McCarthy Show); for stand-up video about Utah, sharing, and tits, please click here), Sean O’Connor (Conan O’Brien, Comedy Central Half Hour), and Matt Ingebretson performing stand-up at UCB East hosted by Emily Heller and/or Adam Conover: Fresh Out

[TOP PICK] [FREE] 9:00ish pm: Terrific NYC stand-ups (the lineup is typically announced around 3:00 pm; for an update, please click here) performing on this free weekly show at the Kabin Bar and Lounge hosted by Chesley Calloway and comedy genius Sean Patton: Comedy as a Second Language

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($5): “Love Doctors Eli Newell (Delocated) and Leslie Meisel (30 Rock, HBO, Stone Cold Fox) are international dating experts who specialize in online dating. They have PhDs in getting you laid and they want to use their insane skills to help you find a date. One lucky lady or dude from OkCupid will get a chance to go on three real dates with real people live onstage. Once again, these are real people, who have never met each other, going on real dates on stage. Come learn a little about love from the people who know the most about lacking it: comedians. Dating connections absolutely guaranteed—even if you don’t get on stage!” at UCB Chelsea also featuring John Frusciante, Chad Carter, and Ben Rameaka: The OkCupid Show

[TOP PICK] 9:30 pm ($5): Improvisors make up one-act plays on the spot at The PIT downstairs lounge, produced by Dan Hodapp & Micah Sherman: The Scene

[TOP PICK] [$] 10:00 pm ($14 plus 2-item food/drink min.): Dave Attell (one of the most respected stand-ups in the biz; star of Showtime’s Dave’s Old Porn and Comedy Central’s Insomniac; HBO, David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, The Daily Show, Comedy Central Presents), Nick Griffin (David Letterman, Jay Leno, Comedy Central Presents), Greer Barnes (David Letterman, Chappelle’s Show, For the Love of the Game), Jermaine Fowler (MTV’s Guy Code and Wildn Out, Comedy Central, Adult Swim’s The Eric Andre Show), Marina Franklin (Jay Leno, Last Comic Standing, Chappelle’s Show, VH1), and Phil Hanley (Craig Ferguson, Comedy Central) performing at Comedy Cellar (117 MacDougal Street, between 3rd Street & Minetta Lane) hosted by William Stephenson (FX’s Louie, The Chris Rock Show): Dave Attell, Nick Griffin, Greer Barnes, and More

[TOP PICK] 11:00 pm ($5): In a huge upset, last week UCBT improv giant What I Did For Love was obliterated by upstart Namaste, which easily won with 94 votes to 32. Will Namaste prove itself more than a one-hit wonder tonight against formidable foes The Brothers Hines? Find out at UCB Chelsea when these teams compete for your laughs and votes at the raucous Cage Match

11:00 pm ($5): Interviews, sketches, stand-up, and/or music at this variety show about Internet stars at the UCB East theatre: Still Buffering

[$] Midnight ($14 plus 2-item food/drink min.): Uncensored stand-up from Paul Mecurio (Conan O’Brien, The Daily Show, Comedy Central Presents), Mark Normand (hilarious rising star; Conan O’Brien, Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central; opens for Amy Schumer; co-host of Hot Soup and We’re All Friends Here), Greer Barnes (David Letterman, Chappelle’s Show, For the Love of the Game), Kurt Metzger (staff writer for Inside Amy Schumer; Jimmy Fallon, Comedy Central Presents, Ugly Americans), and Dan Soder (Comedy Central Half Hour, VH1; for set about being a hypochondriatic drug user, please click here) performing at Comedy Cellar (117 MacDougal Street, between 3rd Street & Minetta Lane) hosted by Wil Sylvince (Comedy Central, BET’s Comic View): The Nasty Show: Paul Mecurio, Mark Normand, Greer Barnes, Kurt Metzger, and Dan Soder

Thursday Open Mics & Jams

5:00 pm ($5): Two-hour open-mic for 20 stand-ups performing for 5 minutes each, with sign-up online here, at the Stand Up NY Comedy Club (236 West 78th Street): Stand Up NY Open Mic

[FREE] 5:30 pm: All-gal open-mic at UCB East in the bar area (“Hot Chicks Room”) hosted by Anna Drezen & Sue Smith: Open Michelle: Ladies Open Mic

[TOP PICK] [FREE] 6:00 pm: Michelle Markowitz (co-host of Failing Our Twenties) is tonight’s guest co-host at this weekly open-mic storytelling show at UCB East, with each performer given a whopping eight minutes to captivate & impress hosted by the wonderful John Flynn (rising star storyteller/actor; Saturday Night Live, The Nights of Our Lives). Please note John is moving to LA, so this is the next to last installment of Oh, Hey Guys!

[FREE] 6:00 pm: Open-mic stand-up with comics’ names drawn from a bucket and each chosen receiving two minutes—and if that goes well, maybe a hug (but not actual puppies)—at The Creek’s upstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City hosted by Ross Parsons & Trey Galyon: Free Puppies

6:00 pm (no cover, 1 drink min. for both comics and audience members): Open mic stand-up providing 5-7 minutes per comic, running 2 1/2 hours. Arrive 30 minutes before the show to get on the signup sheet. This is a fine opportunity to perform at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club Open Mic

7:00 pm ($2, which includes a free beer or water): Open mic stand-up providing a whopping 10 minutes per comic. Email PhoningItInMic@gmail.com with subject line Phoning Thursday to sign up; or take a chance at lottery sign-up live between 6:45 and 7:45 at Brit Pack Studios (153 Lafayette Street, 3rd Floor) hosted by Ian Fidance: Comics Phoning It In

[FREE] 7:00 pm: In this free Magnet show, audience members (signing in at 6:00) can join in with improv group The Boss to make up scenes on the spot: Magnet Mixer

[FREE] 11:00 pm: An open-mic show that’s first come, first serve, with each comic getting 3-5 minutes on stage at The Creek downstairs lounge in Queens’ Long Island City hosted by Josh Alba: Mic and Cheese

[ALMOST FREE] 11:00 pm ($1): An open stage for indie improv groups—and if you’re not in a group, that’s also fine, you’ll simply be added to one—at The PIT downstairs lounge hosted by Darcy Burke & Donna Lobello: New Team Lunacy

Best Inexpensive Stand-Up, Improv, Sketch, and Storytelling

Upright Citizens Brigade Chelsea
(307 West 26th Street; 150-seater; shows free-$10; one of the most respected comedy theatres in the world)

Upright Citizens Brigade East
(153 East 3rd Street; 99-seat main theatre, bar area for open mics; shows free-$10)

The PIT
(123 East 24th Street; 99-seat upstairs theatre, 40-seat downstairs theatre; shows free-$15)

The Magnet
(254 West 29th Street; 60-seat theatre; shows $5-$10)

The Creek and the Cave
(Queens’ Long Island City; 40-seat theatre upstairs, 25 downstairs; virtually all shows free)

Best NYC Stand-Up Comedy Clubs

Comedy Cellar
(117 MacDougal Street; among the finest daily stand-up lineups in the world; 2-item min.)

The Stand
(239 Third Avenue; recent competitor to Comedy Cellar; no drink min.—support this policy!)

Carolines Comedy Club
(1626 Broadway; focuses on the world’s top headliners, who perform hour-long sets; 2-drink min.)

Gotham Comedy Club
(208 West 23rd Street; headliners on weekends, specialty & lineup shows weekdays; 2-drink min.)

Eastville Comedy Club
(85 East 4th Street; strong weekend lineups; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)

Greenwich Village Comedy Club
(99 MacDougal Street; convenient if Comedy Cellar’s sold out; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)

From legendary NYC comedy site Brooklyn Vegan: If you want to know what is happening in NYC comedy on a particular day, you gotta get hip to this dude Hy Bender and his site Best New York Comedy. The site is updated daily and features a super exhaustive look at what is happening in the NYC comedy world that particular day. The site is updated religiously…It is your daily comedy itinerary and it scares me how on top of his shit this guy is.