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Happy Halloween!

and very, very bad sexploitation flick Zombie Lake is screened & ridiculed at Devil Science Theater 3000
Tonight’s recommendations for the best in New York City comedy (in chronological order, with top picks noted and shows over $10 marked with $) include:
6:00 pm ($5): “Experts and historical figures discuss the most important topics of the day in this comedy panel show” at UCB East hosted by Erik Tanouye and/or Will Hines: What’s All This Then, America?
[TOP PICK] 7:00 pm ($5): Using real horror films purchased in local gas stations and bodegas, the hosts select specific clips to play for 30 seconds, pause, and then ask the improvisers to finish the scene. Will anyone survive at The PIT downstairs lounge? Attend at your own peril with hosts J. W. Crump and Jordan Hirsch: Gas Station Horror
[TOP PICK] 7:30 pm ($5): A Halloween-themed character night from superb comedic character performers Skinny Bitch Jesus Meeting, Violet Krumbein (30 Rock), Micah Sherman (Like Me), Ann Carr (Louie), and Anne Edmonds (Edinburgh Festival) performing at UCB East hosted by Sean Crespo, Dan Wilbur, and/or Katina Corrao: Lasers in the Jungle: Halloween Characters Edition
[TOP PICK] [FREE] 8:00 pm: Halloween-themed stand-up, sketch, and characters from a small army of comics including Murderfist, Joe Pera, Amber Nelson, Erik Bergstrom, Aparna Nancherla, Nick Vatterott, Mike Dobbins, and many more at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City: Tales From the Creek
[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($5): One of UCB Chelsea’s best sketch troupes, Thunder Gulch, performs a special show for Halloween: Monster Night Live
[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($8): Storytellers Kevin Allison (legendary MTV sketch series The State, HBO, Comedy Central, VH1, host of award-winning storytelling show and podcast Risk!, owner of The Story Studio), Caitlin Brodnick, Laura Willcox, and Justin Perez tell tales about this month’s theme of Halloween Scary Stories, and then hosts Anna Roisman & Katie Haller sing songs they’ve written pre-show about those stories, at The PIT upstairs theatre: You Probably Think This Song Is About You
8:00 pm-10:00 pm ($7 for the entire evening): The Magnet house improv groups The Boss and Hello Laser performing improv for an hour, followed at 9:00 pm by The Sleepover (long form improv with elements of monoscene, deconstruction, and La Ronde)—at which point the theatre will close early for Halloween: The Magnet’s Night Out
[TOP PICK] 8:30 pm ($10): Mystery Science Theater 3000 goes blaxploitation in this delightful series by Wyatt Cenac (star correspondent for The Daily Show) and Donwill (hip-hop group Tanya Morgan) in which the boys watch a black cinema cult classic and yell comments at it throughout. It all happens at Brooklyn’s IndieScreen (289 Kent Avenue), with tonight’s film a happy surprise: Shouting at the Screen
[TOP PICK] [FREE] 9:00ish pm: Terrific NYC stand-ups (the lineup is typically announced around 3:00 pm; for an update, please click here) performing on this free weekly show at the Kabin Bar and Lounge hosted by Chesley Calloway and/or comedy genius Sean Patton: Comedy as a Second Language
[TOP PICK] [$] [DISCOUNTED] 9:00 pm (FREE TICKETS if you reserve in advance by calling (212) 260-2445 and mention HyReviews.com, but there’s still a 2-drink min. per person): Ted Alexandro (one of the very finest stand-ups in the country; David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, two Comedy Central Presents half-hour specials; frequently opens for Louis C.K.), Mike Britt (Comedy Central), and more performing stand-up at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club
9:00 pm ($5): NYC stand-ups (not announced this week) performing at UCB East hosted by Emily Heller and/or Adam Conover: Fresh Out
[TOP PICK] 9:30 pm ($5): “An epic battle of good and evil as God-fearing townspeople take on a scourge of witches in an all-out, sink-or-swim improvised war for our souls” at the UCB Chelsea theatre: Cage Match Halloween Edition: Mormons Vs. Witches
9:30 pm ($5): A sketch/variety show at The PIT upstairs theatre operating from a fun dark premise: “When Vincent Welles died and went to Hell, he soon found out his punishment was to host a variety talk show for all eternity in the fiery underworld. Join Vincent as he, along with his demonic producers and werewolf sidekick Warren Talbot, host special guests and surprises:” Welcome to Hell with Vincent Welles
[TOP PICK] 9:30 pm ($10): Improvisors make up one-act plays on the spot at The PIT downstairs lounge, produced by Dan Hodapp & Micah Sherman: The Scene
[TOP PICK] [$] 10:30 pm ($5 & 2-item food/drink min.) Comics heckle a genre feature film—with tonight’s victim the 1980 aquatic horror Zombie Lake (for the trailer—featuring laughably bad acting and exceptionally lame zombies—please click here) at Queens LIC’s Laughing Devil Comedy Club (4738 Vernon Blvd.): Devil Science Theater 3000
[TOP PICK] 11:00 pm ($5): Incredible! Force of chaos Fuck That Shit demolished legendary improv group Rogue Elephant last week with 125 votes to 44!Tonight it faces Kik and Linds. This might seem like an easy victory for champion FTS, but you can never know what’ll happen at UCB Chelsea as improv teams compete for your laughs and votes at the raucous Cage Match
[TOP PICK] 11:00 pm ($5): Halloween-themed sketches and comedy bits at UCB East hosted by terrific comedic musical group Summer & Eve: Ha-Ha-Halloween
[TOP PICK] [FREE] Midnight: A jaw-dropping dark & hilarious comedy musical group, which includes members of ace sketch troupe Murderfist, will terrify Queens’ Long Island City for an hour at The Creek upstairs theatre: The Cowmen
Thursday Open Mics & Jams
5:00 pm ($5): Two-hour open-mic for 20 stand-ups performing for 5 minutes each, with sign-up online here, at the Stand Up NY Comedy Club (236 West 78th Street): Stand Up NY Open Mic
[FREE] 5:30 pm: All-gal open-mic at UCB East in the bar area (“Hot Chicks Room”) hosted by Anna Drezen & Sue Smith: Open Michelle: Ladies Open Mic
[FREE] 6:00 pm: Open-mic stand-up with comics’ names drawn from a bucket and each chosen receiving 2 minutes—and if that goes well, maybe a hug (but not actual puppies)—at The Creek’s upstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City hosted by Ross Parsons & Trey Galyon: Free Puppies
6:00 pm (no cover, 1 drink min. for both comics and audience members): Open mic stand-up providing 5-7 minutes per comic, running 2 1/2 hours. Arrive 30 minutes before the show to get on the signup sheet. This is a fine opportunity to perform at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club Open Mic
7:00 pm ($2, which includes a free beer or water): Open mic stand-up providing a whopping 10 minutes per comic. Email PhoningItInMic@gmail.com with subject line Phoning Thursday to sign up; or take a chance at lottery sign-up live between 6:45 and 7:45 at Brit Pack Studios (153 Lafayette Street, 3rd Floor) hosted by Ian Fidance: Comics Phoning It In
[FREE] 7:00 pm: In this free Magnet show, audience members (signing in at 6:00) can join in with improv group The Boss to make up scenes on the spot: Magnet Mixer
9:30 pm (free for audience members, $5 or 1 drink min. for stand-ups wanting to perform): Open mic stand-up providing 7 minutes per comic (and a free recording of your set!), with order determined raffle-style. Sign up by emailing info@oldmanhustle.com or calling (212) 253-7747, or just walk in and supply your name, to perform at the Old Man Hustle Bar (39 Essex Street) hosted by Solomon Chehebar: Peep Show Comedy Open Mic
[FREE] 11:00 pm: An open-mic show that’s first come, first serve, with each comic getting 3-5 minutes on stage at The Creek downstairs lounge in Queens’ Long Island City hosted by Josh Alba: Mic and Cheese
[ALMOST FREE] 11:00 pm ($1): An open stage for indie improv groups—and if you’re not in a group, that’s also fine, you’ll simply be added to one—at The PIT downstairs lounge hosted by Darcy Burke & Donna Lobello: New Team Lunacy
Best Inexpensive Stand-Up, Improv, Sketch, and Storytelling
Upright Citizens Brigade Chelsea
(307 West 26th Street; 150-seater; shows free-$10; one of the most respected comedy theatres in the world)
Upright Citizens Brigade East
(153 East 3rd Street; 99-seat main theatre, bar area for open mics; shows free-$10)
The PIT
(123 East 24th Street; 99-seat upstairs theatre, 40-seat downstairs theatre; shows free-$15)
The Magnet
(254 West 29th Street; 60-seat theatre; shows $5-$10)
The Creek and the Cave
(Queens’ Long Island City; 40-seat theatre upstairs, 25 downstairs; virtually all shows free)
Best NYC Stand-Up Comedy Clubs
Comedy Cellar
(117 MacDougal Street; among the finest daily stand-up lineups in the world; 2-item min.)
The Stand
(239 Third Avenue; recent competitor to Comedy Cellar; no drink min.—support this policy!)
Carolines Comedy Club
(1626 Broadway; focuses on the world’s top headliners, who perform hour-long sets; 2-drink min.)
Gotham Comedy Club
(208 West 23rd Street; headliners on weekends, specialty & lineup shows weekdays; 2-drink min.)
Eastville Comedy Club
(85 East 4th Street; strong weekend lineups; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)
Greenwich Village Comedy Club
(99 MacDougal Street; convenient if Comedy Cellar’s sold out; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)
From legendary NYC comedy site Brooklyn Vegan: If you want to know what is happening in NYC comedy on a particular day, you gotta get hip to this dude Hy Bender and his site Best New York Comedy. The site is updated daily and features a super exhaustive look at what is happening in the NYC comedy world that particular day. The site is updated religiously…It is your daily comedy itinerary and it scares me how on top of his shit this guy is.