Best New York Comedy

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Stand-up giants: Anthony Jeselnik headlines at Carolines, and Todd Barry headlines at Eastville...

...while warrior comics do battle at Gleason's boxing ring to determine the superior outer borough: "Brooklyn Vs. Queens: A Comedy Throwdown"

Tonight’s recommendations for the best in New York City comedy (in chronological order, with top picks noted and shows over $10 marked with $) include:

[FREE] 4:00 pm: An unusually early weekly open-mic stand-up show at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City hosted by RG Daniels & Jared Fried: It Starts at 4

6:00 pm ($5): Improv troupes Honey and Double Date at The Magnet kicking off your Saturday evening at The Rundown

7:00 pm ($5): A Chicago-trained improv troupe now at the The PIT known for “nitty-gritty, character driven improv” and its “unique form ‘The Camera,’ which uses the style of famous documentary films such as Grey Gardens and The Salesman to explore the private and public worlds of four unique characters:” Sand

7:00 pm ($5): Madmen meets improv in this show at The PIT downstairs lounge in which scenes are made up by Jonathan Desley & Yang Miller based around an advertising agency: Desley-Miller

[FREE] 7:00 pm: Comedic solo performances—storytelling, sketch, and whatever else isn’t stand-up or improv—at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City with hosts Bill Stiteler & Adam Schwartz: Wank

[TOP PICK] 7:30 pm ($10): Genius improvisors Joe Bill, Ed Herbstman, Becky Drysdale, Kay Cannon, Christina Gausas, and/or other stellar performers from 30 Rock, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, and legendary Chicago improv institutions, at UCB West all joyously declaring Let’s Have a Ball

7:30 pm ($7): Improv veterans Mark Grenier, Louis Kornfeld, and Charlie Whitcroft at The Magnet making up a play on the spot: Theory of Everything

7:30 pm ($10): UCBT Harold Night improv troupe Airwolf makes stuff up at UCB East: Airwolf: Let’s Go Back to Your Place

[MEGA-TOP PICK] [$] 8:00 pm & 10:30 pm ($26.75 & 2-drink min.) Anthony Jeselnik is one of my favorite stand-ups of all time, with a special gift for crafting dark and shocking short jokes, and a lightning-quick mind that allows him to play with any audience in the moment. This genius Emmy-nominated comic is a former writer/performer for Jimmy Fallon, and has also performed on Conan O’Brien, HBO, a Comedy Central Presents half-hour special, and his hit comedy CD Shakespeare. Anthony is headlining tonight and Sunday at the Carolines Comedy Club along with guitar comic Nick Thune: The Greatest: Anthony Jeselnik

[TOP PICK] [FREE] 8:00 pm: Sean Patton (red-hot rising star; killer set on Jimmy Fallon, Comedy Central, VH1; co-host of Comedy as a Second Language, frequent guest-host of Whiplash), Nikki Glaser (Jay Leno, Last Comic Standing, podcast You Had to Be There), Ray Marshall, Vinny Fallon, and “a super secret special guest!” performing stand-up at One and One (76 East 1st Street, corner of First Avenue) at Sean Donnelly’s Lil’ Seany Boy

[TOP PICK] [$] 8:00 pm & 10:00 pm & 11:45 pm ($25 & 2-drink min.): Winner of the second season of Last Comic Standing, a frequent performer on Jay Leno and VH1, and star of two Comedy Central Presents half-hour specials and an hour-long Comedy Central special, headlining tonight and Sunday at the Gotham Comedy Club: John Heffron

8:00 pm ($7): White rapping from Carolyn Castiglia (Last Comic Standing, VH1), sharp storytelling from Giulia Rozzi (Jimmy Kimmel, MTV, VH1, Playgirl Magazine, co-host of Dive comedy andStripped Stories), and stand-up from Nick Vatterott (Jimmy Fallon, MTV) and Hari Kondabolu (Jimmy Kimmel, Comedy Central), and “a surprise guest” performing at The PIT downstairs lounge hosted by Laura Prangley: Too Soon

[TOP PICK] 9:00 pm ($10): One of the gutsiest and most hilarious troupes in comedy history—with honors including being Cage Match Champion for three years in a row, and winning the 2011 ECNY Award for Best Improv Group—UCB West’s genius improvisors Death by Roo Roo

[TOP PICK] 9:00 pm ($10—includes one free drink): NYC comics from Brooklyn and Queens do comedic battle to determine the superior outer borough in a boxing ring at Brooklyn’s Gleason’s Gym (77 Front Street, 2nd Floor; take the F subway to York Street or the 2/3 to Clark Street). The warriors include Ophira Eisenberg (Brooklyn), Adam Lehman (Queens), Selena Coppock (Brooklyn), Keith Alberstadt (Queens), Kendra Cunningham (Brooklyn), Leah Bonnema (Queens), and more (including “special secret guests”), hosted/refereed by the adorable Sue Funke: Brooklyn vs. Queens: A Comedy Throwdown

[TOP PICK] 9:00 pm ($10): Sara Schaefer (inventive, luminous comic; Emmy-nominated staff writer for Jimmy Fallon; VH1’s Best Week Ever; co-host of hit podcast You Had to Be There), Rachel Feinstein (finalist on Last Comic Standing; Comedy Central; opens for Sarah Silverman on tour), Louis Katz (HBO, Comedy Central), Roger Hailes (Chappelle’s Show, VH1, MTV), and Nick Vatterott (Jimmy Fallon, MTV, Second City) performing stand-up at UCB East, hosted by Kara Klenk and Nick Turner: If You Build It

[TOP PICK] [$] [DISCOUNTED] 9:00 pm & 11:00 pm (FREE TICKETS if you reserve in advance by calling (212) 260-2445 and mention HyReviews.com, but there’s still a 2-drink min. per person): Todd Barry (David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Comedy Central Presents, FX’s Louie, HBO’s Flight of the Conchords and Bored to Death, Adult Swim, feature films The Wrestler and Pete Smalls is Dead), Rachel Feinstein (finalist on this summer’s Last Comic Standing; Comedy Central; opens for Sarah Silverman on tour), Dan Soder (Comedy Central, VH1), and Aaron Berg performing at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club

9:00 pm ($10): NYC sketch comedy duo Jamaal Sedayao and Brian Lisi at The Magnet providing “unfamiliar, often absurd stories full of unexpected laughs:” Turboner Bigoté

9:30 pm ($10): “A cabaret of darkly funny songs and topical sketch comedy about culture and politics,” following sold out shows at Joe’s Pub and now at The PIT: Political Subversities

9:30 pm ($5): NYC stand-ups (not announced) bringing their A-game—because their sets are captured at this new monthly show as audition tapes—performing at The PIT basement lounge: The Grass Route: Built from the Underground Up

[TOP PICK] [$] 10:00 pm ($15): Ted Greenberg (Emmy-winning David Letterman writer) performing a fun, fast-paced theatrical comedy show—complete with audience interaction and audience rides home!—at The Complete Performer

[TOP PICK] 10:30 pm ($10): Ben Rodgers, Charlie Todd, Jim Santangeli, and other stellar improvisors at UCB West interview an audience member about where he or she grew up and then create an entire show based on the mini-bio: The Curfew: Not From Around Here

[TOP PICK] 10:30 pm ($7): A sharp musical improv troupe at The Magnet making up stories with song and dance based on an audience suggestion: Choral Rage

11:00 pm ($5): Sharp sketch troupe The Whitest Kids U’ Know capped their fifth and final season on IFC with a series of pothead shows set during the Civil War. They’ve constructed a low-budget movie from this episode that’s screening tonight at UCB East. Frankly, it lacks many of the key structural elements that make a genuine movie work—and when this debuted at SketchFest NYC 2011, a lot of audience members left or started wandering around the theatre within 30 minutes. But if you’re patient—and/or stoned—and accept this is really a series of sketches loosely tied together rather than the feature film it’s pretending to be, there are fun scenes scattered throughout. Plus the troupe, which is genuinely personable and entertaining, is performing live right before the screening. By far the best bit: The assassination of President Abraham Lincoln, which hopefully the guys will do for you on stage—and which otherwise you can watch by clicking here: The Civil War on Drugs

Midnight ($5): Improv troupes Deckard and Creature at UCB West making stuff up past their bedtime: Saturday Night Slumber Party

[FREE] Midnight: A weekly chance for you to shine at The Magnet, as students and veteran improvisors share the stage to form “rare and wonderful one-night-only teams,” with sign-up starting at 11:30 pm: Magnet Mixer

For full details, please visit HyReviews.com.

If you know anyone who might have a thyroid problem, please tell them about my book: The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Thyroid Disease.